Go Metric

Get In The RV, Part 5: Chapel Hill, Surf City

The day’s drive was painlessly short, only two hours from Richmond, Virginia to Carrboro, North Carolina, a suburb of Chapel Hill. As we left, it felt like springtime, and I happily ditched my jacket in the back storage of the RV.

North Carolina is beautiful and I was happy to be there, but I couldn’t help but be nervous about a few things. Some relatives had mentioned they might come out to the show, and I worried they’d be offended, or I’ll just look like an idiot with no real job. The theater was in the back of a strip mall in a beautiful neighborhood, which also meant I could buy supplies I’d forgotten, like toothpaste (up until now I’d used whatever I found wherever we stayed). But first, the band had a mission: busking for change around Chapel Hill, in an effort to raise money for generator repairs.

We got dropped off downtown, in costume, setting up in front of an empty storefront. After a few minutes we get restless, and started going mobile, at one point walking out into the middle of the street, and then on a public bus. We made a few bucks, and headed back to the theater so I could eat, run errands for myself, and call friends.

Half an hour before the show, my Aunt and Uncle showed up. I was much more nervous, but the show went well. All the bits went over great; Riley’s allowed to do his character, Vacation Jason for the first time, and he kills. Afterward, my Aunt and Uncle tell me they had a great time, and I’m glad I got to see them.

We hung out for a little bit with everyone before we have to leave. From there, we drove an hour to meet up with some kids who offer us a tour of “Acid Park,” which is a bit of local legend in North Carolina. As story goes, a high school girl and her boyfriend took acid, then crashed their car into her father’s property, who proceeded to go insane, and attempt to build large sculptures depicting what they would have seen.

The “park” was located on a fairly remote road in the middle of nowhere, and takes up a few large open fields, that are filled with large, crudely built windmills, and other odd sculptures. The truth is that in reality, this is probably more the work of an eccentric artist, but it’s the middle of the night, and pitch black out, so there’s an element of creepiness to it. We walked around for a while, looking at everything best we can, and headed back on our way.

At that point it was so late and we had nowhere to stay, so we found a Wal Mart to park at for the night, scraping up against a light post as we parked. I laid out some cushions on the floor, and went to sleep.

Next up: The crew discovers (and gets chased out of) Zorb.

— Joe Evans III

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Get In The RV, Part 4: Alt-Comedians of the Universe

I wake up in the corner of a basement rehearsal studio in the outskirts of Baltimore. The first stop of the day is a local winery/deli to, as per someone’s request, buy a sandwich and deliver it to them in Los Angeles. Unfortunately for that person, our generator has been broken for days, which means we don’t have a working refrigerator. On the plus side, we can get decent breakfasts for ourselves.

We’ve received an offer to tour “The Slave Pit,” which is the work space/studio for the band Gwar, where they work on designing and building new costumes, set pieces, and other materials. Chris makes an awkward phone call, and within minutes we’re on our way.

We find the studio, and are greeted by a nice fellow named Matt, who’s one of Gwar’s crew members. Upon walking inside, every room is filled with assorted old set pieces, props, and other memorabilia. Looking around, it’s funny to watch Chris, Shannon, and Will beat each other up with comically large robot arms and hammers. I’m incredibly excited; here I am getting a view at something that not everyone gets to see.

We finish up and head to the venue. Chris has to do an interview with the local NBC Affiliate over Skype (which we ruin), and have time to get dinner at a local barbeque restaurant, where we treat a bunch of locals to their meals. I unwisely base my dinner around hush puppies (which  are delicious, but make me feel terrible).

The venue is a fairly large art space called Gallery 5. There’s a large stage with a movie screen, plus a zine library and art exhibits upstairs. The LLC sound checks and I wash my hair in the bathroom sink as best I can.

The show goes well, though I keep worrying that the audience isn’t really into it (however, I’m built to worry). As per Gwar’s request, the show includes a tribute, with audience members pouring Bloody Marys on Chris, while wearing only a thong and nothing else. Backstage moments before the bit, Chris is furious, mumbling “I don’t want to do this, this is going to be awful” over and over again. But it gets good laughs. After the whole thing finishes there is post-show improv jam, and while changing Chris, Will and Shannon invite me to join them, which blows me away. I don’t do much, just a few walk-ons, but the fact that they mentioned it at all was incredibly flattering.

After the show, we have another place to stay, in an apartment above a garage in the suburbs. There is inevitably a party in the house.  I hang out at for a while before walking back to the garage-apartment and tucking myself under a table to go to sleep.

Up next: The band earns its keep.

— Joe Evans III

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Get In The RV, Part 3: Chain fight tonight

The day’s agenda: Destroy a fallen tree in our friend’s parents’ backyard, then drive to Richmond. Typical comedy tour fare.

We’d hoped to rent chainsaws, but the company doesn’t trust us with them, and gives us handsaws instead. Turns out that it’s really hard to cut up a tree that’s been buried in snow for weeks with handsaws, so Chris goes and rents an electric saw from a different place that doesn’t care as much. As soon as Chris bends over to start cutting, his pants start falling down, and I hear someone say “Can’t he just have a triumphant moment?”  We finally got a few small sections off the tree. Sadly, this takes us well into the afternoon.

We hit the point where we have to admit that we have no chance of chopping up the tree up all the way, probably even over the course of this week, let alone the day. We have to move on. We’re a little disappointed in ourselves, but our host mother doesn’t mind in the slightest. “Just make sure you have fun!” she keeps telling us, before feeding us lunch, and taking us to see an art installation she was responsible for around the corner from Yale University. Then we get back on the road.

We’ve had some offers to head to Philadelphia – someone who wants to make us dinner, and someone who wants to fight Chris. It’s not the longest drive from Connecticut, but it still feels weird, especially passing through New York City and New Jersey. Our first stop is a comedy show that Chris’s brother Greg hosts. When we get there, Chris storms the stage, and he wrestles the mystery challenger.  They only go for a few minutes, but Chris wins, and is not humble about it at all, calling out another group (“I don’t know who they are, but they’ve been talking shit.”). They’re apparently in the audience, and immediately storm the stage. However, it’s a four person sketch group, so Chris calls up Shannon and Will and needs one more, so I decide to step up and run on stage, at which point I quickly realize “I have no idea how to fight.” It takes only seconds for me to be pinned by the largest member of our opponents, but I don’t tap out, and moments later, we win. We rushed out of as the audience boos us.

After storming out, we head over to our dinner invitation. It’s a fairly casual meal of spaghetti, and by casual I mean “there’s no silverware, so I eat with a pair of skewers.” It’s a little strange, but sitting in the living room, silently contemplating what else there is to come on this trip, I can’t complain.

After we finish up, it’s snowing fairly hard, but we have to take off again, driving a few more hours south, finally stoping for the night in the outskirts of Baltimore.

Up next: The gang heads further South, and get a tour of the Slave Pit.

— Joe Evans III

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Chainsaws

Philadelphia Fisticuffs

Weird Dinner in Philadelphia

Get In The RV, Part 2: This Is Boston, Not LA

First thing in the morning we get up to make our way to Boston. Before we leave, Chris yells at me for sleeping on the floor (truth is, I have crazy-levels of personal space issues). We get up early. No one feels like stopping and we make great time. With the exception of the fact that we can’t seem to get the side door to stay closed while we’re on the highway, there are no problems. Everyone feels great, and there’s a feeling of “this is happening” just like at the beginning of any tour. Until we realize we’re about to hit a bridge. That’s when panic starts to set in. We stop just in time, and eventually call 911 for help. The officer waves us through slowly, and we get through with no problems. Until we also realize we left the props for today’s main bit behind. We’re barely down the road, and tensions are already high.

Once we get to where we’re going, we take a few minutes, and collect our thoughts. We replace the props easily and we’re back on track. Our friend Noah, who is a staunch Jets fan, is allowed to ride along with us for the day, as long as he harasses Patriots fans before a very hyped game. Patriots fans are surprisingly calm about the whole thing, but once we see everything is going ok, we calm down a bit. However, we start realizing that none of us have really eaten anything all day, and that it’s freezing (quite a difference from how I thought we’d immediately be heading South for the whole trip).

We finish up and head over to the venue, ImprovBoston but also discover that it’s not easy to drive a seven person RV through narrow, hardly plowed city streets. We have to park at a grocery store, and arrange for a caravan to pick us up and bring us over, so we can finally drop off our stuff and eat. I get a veggie burger and fries nearby, and after everything else today it feels like it’s the first thing I’ve eaten in a week.

This marks the first show we’ve ever done outside of New York City, so I’m anxious. But when we start, the whole theater is filled, and the crowd starts clapping in unison. They’re into it. They’re not entirely sure of what to make of everything, like Will’s stand up, Shannon’s characters, and our interview with some of Chris’s college friends that (one of whom just hit on girls in the audience, and me the entire time), but they’re into it.

When the show finishes up, we head back out on the road almost immediately. We get to a house in Connecticut where we have to film more bits the next day. I set up my sleeping bag underneath another table, on top of couch cushions, barricading myself inside with chairs, and go to sleep.

Up next: Everyone uses saws, and Joe gets involved in a four on four wrestling match.

— Joe Evans III

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Go West, Relatively Young Man: Joe Evans on the road with the Chris Gethard Show

In a few days, Go Metric correspondent Joe Evans III will embark on a two part, nearly month long tour. Part One: Playing music as part of The Chris Gethard Show Cross Country Adventure, as a bunch of comedians travel the country from New York to Los Angeles in an RV that’s not big enough to hold all of them. Part Two: Attempting to make punk rockers laugh with his weird yet true stories from his own life.

We’ll have updates from Joe as often as he can send them in, but it’s still not the same thing as seeing it live in person.

The Chris Gethard Show Cross Country Adventure

January 15
New York City at UCB Theatre

January 16
Boston at ImprovBoston

January 18
Richmond at Gallery5

January 22
Austin at New Movement Theater

January 27
Los Angeles at UCB Theatre

Joe Evans III Stand Up

January 29
Los Angeles at House Show
8 p.m., 5676 York Blvd

February 2
Santa Monica at The Ed Galvez Punk House
9 p.m. at West Side Comedy Theater

February 3
Berkeley at Gilman Street

An interview with Fesh – The Man, the Mitch, the legend. (Part Two)

Joe: What was going through your head/your general reaction during The Gethard Show?

Mitch: Disbelief, excitement, and guilt, mostly. Positive sides of all of them. Disbelief because the day I responded to Chris's video, I went to school and to pass the time/get through it, I thought of how cool it would be if I were chosen, and all the cool things that could happen. A lot of those things DID happen, so I had a hard time believing it. I was sitting in a community college in Ohio, thinking "Then Dave Hill could come out!" and a month later he does, and it was unbelievable. I think excitement is obvious. I mean, a litany of things I adore were just coming and going and I didn't know how to handle it. Apparently, my excitement didn't translate, and I was holding back somewhat, because if I didn't I probably would have cried for far too long. Then guilt, because I was thinking about all the comedy nerds who don't even get to attend shows at the UCB, let alone be the guest at one. Also, the whole weekend people were asking me if or when I'd be moving out there, and during the show there were absolutely no reasons not to in my mind. There are still very few reasons not to, but the heat of the moment romanticized the whole thing. I had never had one of those moments I want to last forever till then.

Joe: The Dave Hill bit was pretty great. Similar to you creating a Dave Hill online fan group, is there also a Mitch Fesh online fan group?

Mitch: There is. It is called "Mitch Fesh is God." I didn't make it because I think I'm great, but because all of the people I was Facebook friends were posting these really arrogant things, so I decided to go for the most arrogant and made that group.

Joe: You also specifically mention (on Facebook) that you're interested in "artificial banana flavoring." At the very first Chris Gethard Show, one of the first bits was "Share what's on your mind", and Bill from the Kung Fu Monkeys pointed out that artificial banana flavoring is a sham, as bananas taste differently depending on how ripe they are (and later admitted that's often a go-to topic of his). So, is your interest true/would you like to argue and or defend any of that?

Mitch: He's right. But, I love the flavor they use in the artificial flavoring. I don't care for bananas, it's specifically banana flavored taffy, smoothies, and candy in general that I love. So, I don't feel the need to defend it at all. It's like how pizza flavored chips don't taste like pizza, but can have a separate, good taste.

Joe: How was your overall time/experience in New York City, aside from the UCB/Gotham show?

Mitch: Great. It rained pretty much the whole time, but other than that it was real cool. I don't know how to express how much I like simply being there. At one point during Shannon's tour they asked if I was having fun, and I responded with, "I could do this all day," and it's the truth. Also, eating pizza and burgers is always a good time, and we did a fair share of that.

Joe: Do you think you've changed in any way since the trip/The Gethard show? If so, how?

Mitch: Yeah, I'm much more determined now. Its official, I plan on moving to New York. Which, in itself, has made me try harder in the respect of finding jobs. I have a reason outside of comic books and DVDs to have an income. A goal. Additionally, it has given me stories to tell at family functions and memories to cheer me up. Also, I'm much less into pessimism, lately.

-- Joe Evans III

Read Part one of the interview.

An interview with Fesh – The Man, the Mitch, the legend. (Part One)

I’m a fan of underdogs - really, is there anyone that’s into punk rock or comedy that isn’t’? So when Chris Gethard announced that he wanted a sad teenager to come be a guest on his monthly talk show, I was intrigued. And when Mitch Fesh (the lucky winner) was announced, I was completely fascinated (in part because admittedly, I saw a little bit of my younger self in him). The show really turned out to be one of those “once in a lifetime” moments, so I wanted to catch up with Mitch afterwards to see just how he felt about the whole experience, and life in general.

Joe: How did you first get exposed to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, as well as Chris specifically?

Mitch: I had seen the Upright Citizens Brigade television show, and while looking it up on the internet, I found out about the theatre. So, on my sixteenth birthday my family and I went to NYC, and stopped by the UCB. It was probably the best first show I could have seen; Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Dan Mintz, Baron Vaughn, and Wendy Spero. So, the next day we went back, and rather than stand-up, it was improv, which I found just as amazing. The next year, a few days after turning seventeen, I saw The Stepfathers. Chris stood out to me. Then when UCBcomedy.com launched and I was able to search by performer I was introduced to a bunch of Chris's hilarious videos, among others. Then after going to a couple ASSSSCATs, Chris became one of the various comedians I look up to.

Joe: What made Chris in particular stand out to you?

Mitch: I'm not completely sure. I think his range of vocabulary, and wrestling references. I mean, everyone was really funny, but I felt I would relate to him the most.

Joe: How did you first find out about Chris's offer, and what was your initial reaction to it?

Mitch: I had heard about his Magic Bus of Stories and I even entered the Magic Nissan of Stories contest. After he posted that only four people had entered I commented that I would if I didn't live in Ohio. He posted, "Dare to dream." So, I sent him a five hundred-plus word essay. Before the winner of that contest was announced, he posted the video for this thing;

 

When I saw it my first thought was, "This guy is so cool." I mean, a part of me thought it was a joke, but with the other stuff I figured, even if this is a joke, what's the worst that could happen? I send him something and he doesn't send anything back. Not that bad. So, without talking to anyone, I sent him something saying I wanted to do it, probably within five minutes of watching the video. Then within twenty four hours of that we were talking over Facebook chat.

Joe: Was The Chris Gethard Show your first experience performing in a "comedy show" setting?

Mitch: On January 18th 2008 I did stand-up for the first and last time at a Christian hangout in Michigan. The Christian aspect isn't really important, but I find it sort of funny. I had a sketch online and whoever was running the show saw it and said me and my friend who made it should come be a part of their first ever comedy show. We were the first comedy act ever to perform there. I did this whole bit about how most times I look like I'm thinking about something, intently, it's just something pointless, like the best way to kill a zombie in one kick; never a real issue, like banning the N-word. I don't care about that issue because I don't use the N-word, so it makes no difference to me, but I will get mad if they start banning adjectives, because then I couldn't tell you how awesome my zombie killing strategy is. And it wasn't abysmal, but, I haven't tried to do it again.

Joe: I also understand you performed improv for the first time. 


Mitch: Yeah, the night before the Gethard Show, me, Chris, and a bunch of other nice folks, who do improv regularly, did a fifteen minute set at Gotham City Improv. This was my first time doing improv on a stage, or in any formal capacity and I had five minutes of training backstage. They tell me it went well for my first time. I feel much more confident about that show than I did about the stand-up.

Joe: Can you describe a scene from that?

Mitch: Chris addresses everyone that he is selling the family farm. Bridget Fitzgerald and Matt Nedostup discuss how they won’t know how to adjust to society, because all they know is okra. I ask what okra is, which sets up the game of them not knowing, guessing, and arguing about okra, when that's supposedly all they knew.  

-- Joe Evans III

Comedy CD Roundup

Patton Oswalt
My Weakness Is Strong
Warner Brothers/Degenerate

It’s somewhat ironic that most of Patton Oswalt’s fame has come from more family friendly roles in King Of Queens and Pixar’s Ratatouille, when his standup material has often been so dark, cynical, and heavily sarcastic – almost like a crazy, train station bum who you’d never let near your house. The beauty here is that Patton is so intelligent and well spoken, that he instantly draws you in and has no problem keeping your attention. He’s the kind of guy I could see holding his own at a fancy, corporate bigwig party, even though in the back of his mind he’d be cursing out the suits, secretly wishing he was at home drinking scotch and watching horror movies. Not only is this some of his greatest material yet, but it also includes a DVD of the performance, with bonus sketches that also feature greats like Paul F. Tompkins and Julie Klausner.

Eugene Mirman
God Is A Twelve Year Old Boy With Aspergers
Sub Pop

“Were you named class clown in high school?” is a pretty common, yet bad interview question with comedians. For starters, the title is often awarded to the kid that quotes whatever the latest movie-catch-phrase is, more than the weird, goofy kid that’s actually really funny. Eugene Mirman was definitely one of the later kids, who still plays up his outsider-ness today (I’m not making that up – he briefly covers this in a story about how he was placed in special ed). Mirman tends to favor playful misunderstandings as well as bizarre “What if?” type scenarios. That’s not to say he doesn’t have an edge of his own, particularly with a complaint letter to his gas company, and a full on hate-inspired-play about his experience with a popular commercial airline. But overall, Eugene comes off as the kind of happy go lucky person, who instead of getting upset or angry with anything, is content with quickly diffusing any situation with a good (if also completely crazy) joke, which is my favorite approach to just about everything.

Scharpling And Wurster
At The Speed Of Sound
Stereolaffs

It’s admittedly somewhat pointless to be reviewing this particular Scharpling and Wurster release. For one, their comedy is some that doesn’t translate to being explained well at all – It thrives on creating some confusion, before sucking you in as you see the bigger picture. But I’ll say this – If you’re a fan of classics like Bob and Ray, as well as good music in general, you’ll love what they have to offer. The other reason is that this particular release was given away as part of a WFMU Marathon, as a premium for pledging during The Best Show on WFMU. So if anything, it’s a reminder to not only check this out, but to support one of, if not the best listener funded free form radio station in the country.

-- Joe Evans III

Eugene Mirman reports on the weather in a snow storm.

Franz Kafka's The Aristrocrats

By Brian Wallace, Brian Cogan, and Mike Faloon

Dick Rowe: Overlooked Letters of Rejection (Part One of Three)

It is a little known fact that Dick Rowe, the Decca Records PR man who famously dismissed the Beatles in 1962 because "guitar groups (were) on the way out," had a substantial career as a literary agent whose acumen for spotting great works of literature somehow exceeded his ability to spot up and coming beat groups.

Mr. Rowe passed away in early 2006 and his estate presented his archives to Columbia's Harnick School of American Studies.  GM was granted a sneak preview of Rowe's correspondence with legendary authors.  Here is the first in a series of Overlooked Letters of Rejection.

October 12, 1952

Dick Rowe
c/o Charles Scribner's Sons
56 Cooper Square
New York City, New York

Ernest Hemingway
Grand Hotel et de Milan
Via Manzoni 29
Milan

Dear Mr. Hemingway,

Thank you for submitting your promising work The Old Man and the Sea.  As a man of some experience in the literary field, allow me to say that I believe you to be on the right track, though, clearly, the book is not yet ready for publication.

A couple of questions for your consideration: Why an old man?  Market research shows that 81% of new novels are purchased by those in the 25-40 age bracket.  It's the Eisenhower era, after all, be mindful of contemporary icons such as the ever-gaunt Marlon Brando and James Dean.  (Did you see his promotional work for the Traffic Safety Council?  Outstanding!)  I recommend making the protagonist younger and more accessible.  Second, why a sea?  Don't get me wrong, we have had great success with fishing books in recent years (notably Lance Wedlick's 60 Ways to Fool a Muskellunge and The Happy Armchair Angler's Guide to the Magic of Bait Fishing in Utah), but our nation is bordered by two oceans (the Atlantic and the Pacific).  Further, I am reluctant to ostracize our many readers in the middle regions of the country.  Perhaps a river or an inlet would be more appropriate.

In closing, do not be discouraged.  I am certain you will enjoy a flourishing career as long as the noble General Batista reigns over Cuba.

Sincerely,

Dick Rowe

PS Flawed heroes are on the way out.